Rambling Autobiography

I Hate The Smell of Air Freshener



When I was younger I thought superglue and my fingers were a good match.  It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I was at basketball practice and our warm up was to run backwards.  I learned something that day–do not run backwards with your laces untied. Once I stepped on a fly and thought it was a bee, so I ran around my house screaming. A couple of months back I was riding my bike down the road and I felt a huge bump under my tire. I looked back and saw a turtle. Once my cousin said to me that he believes in ghosts, so that night I banged on his wall and made ghost noises.  In the morning he said he got no sleep.


Once I ran into a glass door at the mall and the glass cracked everywhere. I love marshmallows that are completely burned. My dog tries to catch mice, and when she does, she eats them. I hate video games. I could pop bubble wrap for three hours straight and I wouldn’t get bored. People tell me that cracking knuckles can give you arthritis but I know that’s a lie. I find grating cheese extremely satisfying. I love dogs, but I hate cats I think.  Cats are so boring. I have an addiction for jumping off things. I hate the smell of air freshener. I love to scrape the frosting off oreos and eat the frosting separately. I hate bananas.

One thought on “Rambling Autobiography

  1. Dear Ryan, This is a very well written piece. Some parts got me cracking up. I hope to see many more pieces like this. Oh and by the way for my caine’s arcade we did not slingshot slime.The little kids hit the slime out of the catapult. This means they hit it really hard. I understand why you thought this. I probably would have also.

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